Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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