wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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