i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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