At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
