You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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