did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
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Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
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Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.