I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
