Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
4 words: hood of his car
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
