Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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