Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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