There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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