talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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