question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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