Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
