Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
