I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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