Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
