just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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