I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
