At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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