he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just invented taco cereal.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
