My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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