i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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