Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ketchup is God's man juice
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize