the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize