I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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