He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
