JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
