I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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