I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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