Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I have demons in me.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
