I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
