Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
