so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize