Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
