We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
