we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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