If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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