Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
