Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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