garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
