I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
