Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
