If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
