so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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