then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
