I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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