I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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