I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
