you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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