we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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