my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
