i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
