On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
