Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
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I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
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This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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