i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
