butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
