My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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