I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
