grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
